Day 7, The Thing's You're Afraid Of

May7th- The Things You're Most Afraid Of

I like to think that I'm pretty brave. But there are some things that terrify me.

Spiders. Oh sweet mother, I am the poster-child for arachnophobia. No joke, I've been known to shake and cry and throw up when encountering those dudes. It's so bad that even seeing a picture of a spider makes me nervous. I can't handle them.
I was going to try to find a video of a girl crying because she saw a spider, but I couldn't find one that didn't show the spider. So I couldn't watch any. Sorry dudes.

Another thing that makes me nervous is the country at night. Brandon's parents live a few minutes outside of town, and we often find ourselves driving some tiny back-road at night to go to their house. I make Brandon lock the doors, and I WILL NOT stop or get out of the car. Dude, I know how horror movies start. The young couple's car breaks down on the side of some country road, so they trek it up to the nearest farmhouse to get help, and 24 hours later, they are nothing but a pile of bones under the crazy farmer's floorboards. No way.

The thing that scares me the most of all though, is something that scares all of us.
When I was pregnant with Margot, I got really vivid nightmares (pregnancy dreams are wacky, folks) about terrible things happening to my family. They were horrible. I would wake up crying and shaky, and wouldn't sleep much more that night. I'm not going to go into detail, because you don't wanna know.
I still get the nightmares, one of the many pregnancy side-effects that never went away. My hair has gotten thicker (not complaining) and I gag anytime anything besides gum or food is in my mouth (goodbye nail-biting), and I have terrible dreams.
The dreams are really just manifesting what my worst fear is: that something will happen to my family, and I won't be able to save them. The world is a scary place sometimes, and it's terrifies me that something scary could happen to my children or husband. My worst thought is that my family will be hurt or afraid and I won't be able to help them.
The idea of that makes me want to build an underground bunker and hole my family away and never leave. But I also know that the world is a beautiful place, full of wonder and light and love, and I want my family to experience the good, even if it scares me sometimes.

What about you, what are you afraid of?