Guys, I think this is seriously the most embarrassing story of my life, and one of my Carrie-sister's all time faves.
I am a firm believer that being able to laugh at myself is one of my strongest traits. So I usually have no problems sharing some of my most humiliating antics.
But I have never shared this story. Until now.
Precursor:
If you are under the impression that I have never passed gas, turn back now. That's right, folks, this story is about flatulence.
Travel with me in your mind, back about 5 1/2 years ago. Brandon and I were newlyweds, I was pregnant with our first daughter, and we were both in school.
Now, as a young couple with no children, Brandon and I spent most of our free time laughing and joking with one another. We had a lot more time on our hands to watch movies, laugh at elaborate inside jokes, and create silly traditions.
Of of these jokes, was probably the silliest thing you'll ever hear. Whenever one of us would pass gas, we would say, in the most ridiculous southern accent, "I tooted!" (With the accent, it sounded a bit like "Ah tee-you-ted!")
Every time. At first it was just a funny thing to say, then it became habit. I don't think either of us realized we said it anymore. Which was fine; it was just the two of us.
Until one day it wasn't.
I was in hair school at the time, and one afternoon, I was sitting in the break room at the school with about 15 other students. I had wedged my pregnant self onto a table with 2 of my friends, because the chairs in the room were all full. As we sat there chatting, I felt a fart coming.
I tried to hold it in, I really did, but sometimes these things can't be helped.
It broke loose, and without thinking about it, I announced to the whole room, "I tooted!" rather loudly, in the accent and everything.
Everyone stopped and stared at me. Crickets chirped.
One of the friends sitting next to me looked at me like I was crazy, and said "Did you really?"
What was I to do?!? If I own up to it, they all think I'm gross. If I lie, and say that I was just kidding, then I'm the weird girl who interrupted an entire room of conversation to falsely announce that I let one rip.
Guys, I owned up to it. I quietly answered that yes, I had in fact tooted. They all continue to stare.
I decided to run. I excused myself to go check my phone or some other transparent excuse, and tried to quickly and quietly sneak from the room. But, being pregnant, and sitting up on a table, this wasn't an easy task. As I scooted inch by inch to the edge of the table where I could perform my dismount, all eyes were still on me. And I'm pretty sure the intensity of my blush actually singed my eyebrows.
Here's the kicker. The fart was actually quiet enough, that had I kept my mouth shut, chances are that no one would have noticed at all.
I came home from school that day, told Brandon that we had to break that habit immediately, and seriously considered wearing a bag over my head to school the next day.
